![]() This relationship has hurt you for a long time. A dramatic recommendation, I know, but you’re not happy or fulfilled. Does that mean you’re open to leaving him? You could co-parent and remain in each other’s lives. You say you wish you could shake your younger self, to stop that version of you from signing on for a lifetime with your husband. This is a great time to go to therapy and talk about how you can recover from so many years of these awful comments. You want to be able to feel hot, even if someone else thinks you’re not. The goal is learning to love yourself, regardless of what your husband thinks of you. Yes, but not by dieting and changing your appearance. “Do I need to do more work on myself to improve my own confidence?” Sometimes I wish I could go back to my younger self and shake her for thinking that I could eventually get over it.Ī. I can be completely dolled up and the most he’ll say is “you look nice.” I want to have an active sex life with my husband, but it’s hard to be attracted to someone who more often than not makes me feel ugly and undesirable, and I find that so sad. He doesn’t necessarily openly put me down anymore, but he rarely ever says anything nice either. I find myself, now years later, struggling to deal with the pressure to stay slim enough for his liking (which, despite wearing a size 4, is never quite slim enough), and I constantly am looking at getting plastic surgery. When I’d talk to him about how his words hurt, he’d often play it off as a joke, or that he was just being honest, or that I was the problem for being too sensitive. I was young and insecure, so I tried to diet to his preference (very thin) and even considered getting breast implants to make him see me as worthy - which never happened because I couldn’t afford it. We broke up numerous times because it was fairly clear he was not very physically attracted to me. He’d pick apart everything from my coloring, my body type, breast size, and other physical features. When we first met, I was 21 and he was 31, and he was ruthless about comparing me and my body to his exes. ![]() The issue that continues to cause problems in our sex life is that my husband has always been very critical of my physical appearance. We have two young kids, live a comfortable lifestyle, and we get along really well most of the time. My husband and I will celebrate our 10-year anniversary this year.
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